Shower Thoughts
By: Lynn Bolster
We all take a shower each day or so right? Well, I bet some of the non-trucker folks out there don’t know that taking a shower on the road costs between $10 – $15. When I was trucking it cost just $5. If you fuel up or have a customer card it may cost less. But this luxury can be lousy depending on where you choose to shower. South of the Border is a huge tourist attraction in South Carolina. There are about 175 wacky billboards screaming “tourists come, truckers welcome!” all along I-95. Millions of dollars are spent each year to lure drive-bys in. So we decided to stop for a shower one hot day. Mistake? You betcha!
When I entered the huge Mexican-themed building, all I saw was bare drywall, tables of cheap gifts, and fireworks. “Free coffee for truckers” was available but it looked like you would need a shovel to stir it. Showers were also free – wow – you can’t beat that! The clerk handed me a towel the size of a postage stamp, no key, no paper bath mat. I picked shower number three. No lock, no key, just walk in. Not the greatest security for someone who will be hanging around naked for the next hour. Number three looked like it had been used but not cleaned. I checked the other showers in the hall and they were all that way, so now it was a matter of choosing the cleanest dirty shower. I chose number two.
I pushed my bag tight against the door to discourage intruders. The handset was so loose that it just about fell off into my hand. This was about as much security as if the fox was guarding the hen house. Yikes, hair, hair everywhere. I felt dirty just standing there so I grabbed the plastic trashcan liner and laid it on the dirt and hair-encrusted tiles underfoot. Peepholes in the walls were everywhere so I stuffed each one with toilet paper. The use of the commode was out of the question. The bare light bulb hanging by a frayed cord out of the ceiling reminded me of those crime movies where they questioned the guy on a hard chair under a bright bulb. Shower stall ceiling tiles hung by clumps of dried glue, ready to drop. Mold and his friend Mildew joined me. I wear a 7½ shoe and that’s good because there was a circular spot just at the drain hole where the needles of hot water in effect had drilled away any gunk so it was slime-free.
I gingerly stepped into this sphere of cleanliness in my flip-flops and soaped up. The water felt wonderful but the view of the gook and muck-covered shower curtain detracted from my overall experience. Washdown complete, I exited onto my plastic bag bath mat and dried off with my postage stamp, oops, towel. The exhaust fan desperately tried to suck up the moisture but none had dissipated, leaving me with a steam bath like I used to pay for at the YMCA. There was so much dust and accumulated dirt that the fan was exhausted! It was as effective as sucking the steam through a drinking straw. I dried off, gathered up my things, and moved to the shower next door since they were all vacant and unlocked anyway. Number four wasn’t any better but the mirror was steam-free so soon I was ready to go.
Despite my suffering, I was cleaner but not as refreshed as I would have been had I not had to focus on being so innovative in shower etiquette for the last hour. Emerging, satchel in hand, in my Ivory soap stupor, I foolishly asked the clerk if they had a laundry facility. She said they did but she didn’t think they worked, plus if I needed detergent, I’d better have my own because someone broke into the vending machine and stole it all. Why did I already know that something like this was what I would hear…had I not learned anything in the last hour?
Maybe South of the Border is better now, I don’t know, but I’m not interested in finding out. If it is, I sincerely apologize, but in this article, I’m just sharing my experience. The moral of the story is: that it is worth it to pay for a nice, clean, civilized shower. Oh, what? Are you thinking what I am? How much a year does this place spend on billboards? With that much money and hype, you’d think a bit more could be spent to ensure the driver has a relaxing experience. Oh and make sure to tip your shower cleaner at the truck stop!
Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18
